I Know. I Don’t Know. I Know!

43/23 Channel of Structuring (aka Freak to Genius)

43/23 Channel of Structuring (aka Freak to Genius)

The other day, one of my besties reached out to me and told me that she has a couple of friends that have the Channel 43/23 in common and that they are having a difficult time feeling left out. She asked me what my thoughts are about the 43/23 Channel of Structuring.

I have the Channel of Structuring. My entire channel is in the body (Design side, red), and it works subconsciously.

Before Human Design, I used to get very stressed out about holding onto my thoughts and interrupting people because I didn’t want to lose sight of the words I wanted to speak. I was a horrible listener. I had no patience. I would feel very precise about my insights and would force others to listen to my ideas concerning THEIR life. I thought I knew what was best for everyone! I didn’t care if they wanted to hear them or not. It caused a shit load of drama. It was also the perfect way to get myself excluded. I sounded like a freak.

Through years of experimentation, I have learned that someone can hear my advice only if I wait for the right time to speak, the right time to share my insights. Channel 43/23 is an invited channel, and my insights are not helpful to others unless they want my advice. I may know something that would be very beneficial to the Other, but if they have no desire to hear it, then I don’t bother sharing it. I don’t have the energy to share it. When my sharing has been uninvited, I sound like a freak. If I wait and I am asked for it, I seem like a fucking genius!

Those who have the Channel 43/23 have the potential to make a profound impact on the Other by changing the way others see things. It’s been my experience that the Other needs to be ready for a change though. It’s only when they are aware and interested in unveiling their own truths that they will be able to hear you. Timing is everything when it comes to this channel.

If someone asks for my advice and they don’t know me well, I will ask them if they really want it. My knowing isn’t always pleasant; however, I have observed that it will push you into a new space, a new way of thinking, a new way of being … if you are ready for it. If someone asks for my advice, I may respond “No” even though I have information. Just because we have insights does NOT mean we are responding or responsible to share them.

At this time in my life, I am surrounded by very close friends that seek out my advice. They know that “I Know” things. They don’t need any explanations for it. They trust it. On many occasions, I have been told that they come to me because I will tell them the truth, no matter what it is. I am very honored that they feel this way.

Several years ago, when I attended John Martin’s Way of the Jedi class, we were asked to do a presentation at the very end of our year-long course. I knew what I would be discussing, but how it would ultimately unfold, I had no idea. As a Generator (MG), I am here to understand myself. My presentation was about me, and it was completely unplanned. I did not have notes, and I did not create a PowerPoint presentation. All I had displayed was my chart, my subconscious knowing, and my voice. I didn’t have a clue where I would start. My chart went up, and I started talking. My presentation lasted 33 minutes. I’ve listened to it several times over the years, and it is well thought out and very organized, structured and powerful. Would I like to change a few things? Absolutely! But it’s pretty rock solid.

With that presentation, I experimented with my lack of preparation (homogenized thinking). All my life, whenever I would prepare presentations that I would change them while I was in the middle of presenting! It would drive ME crazy! I would spend hours and hours poring over the material, creating material, thinking I would get it just right, only to throw it out the window as I was in the middle of it! My HD presentation was the first time I truly trusted in my knowing. It’s subconscious, I can’t access it, and I NEVER know what’s going to come out of my mouth. I even surprise myself! And here’s the funny thing, I can sound like a freak or a genius even to myself!

Ok, so let’s not forget that the 43/23 is an individual channel. Individuals are designed to be deaf. You are protected as an individual because you need to block out the knowing/advice of others so you can move through your own thoughts and ideas. You will be excluded. You will be left out. The knowing is the truth as it pulsates. I know. I don’t know. I know. Let’s face it, the majority of people shy away from their truths. It’s not your responsibility to make them understand their truths. Period.

I realize that being an individual will always make you feel different from others. I feel we will always feel different from others. We never quite “fit in.” My suggestion is to try and get comfortable with that fact. I don’t think that the feeling of exclusion will ever go away. I feel it all of the time; however, I’m not moved by it. I sit with it and live my life. However, as you begin to experiment, you will see that the correct people will include you and you will be surrounded by those who value you and want your insights. It takes time, just like everything else. Just keep in mind, that with the 43/23, we don’t choose what we know, the trick is not sharing what we know unless we are asked.

 

Commitments and Promises … Oh, My!

Commitment and Promises … these 2 words can either inspire or create anxiety. They’re all about the bargain; they give rise to expectation, sometimes hope, and are carry an energy of obligation. What’s their place in Human Design?

Colliding Trajectories

Raven’s Hallway

It’s been awhile since my last posting. Seven months ago, I had a significant life event occur, and I’m still in the thick of it. When this particular experience is completed, and I have had time to process it, I will definitely be sharing it (Channel 13/33). However, as I have been waiting and moving through this new experience, I am starting to see that my life is beginning to shift in a different direction … AGAIN! But more on that at a later time …

What I want to write about is … How I met my friend, Raven?

On January 1, 2014, I met John Martin and his friend, Raven, at Java Love coffee shop in Sedona, Arizona. I was in Sedona for a few days, hanging out with friends. I had wanted to meet John in person before having my Human Design Foundation Reading by him. At a moment’s notice via email, he informed me that I could meet him at Java Love and that he would be leaving in 20 minutes. My body went into action. I changed from PJs to t-shirt and jeans, and I flew out the door, driving as fast as I could get away with! I didn’t bother with makeup or combing my hair! John had mentioned that he would be there for another 30 minutes and it was going to take me about 30 minutes to get there!

As soon as I walked in, I approached him and the woman that was sitting with him. She seemed very closed off and didn’t even smile at me. John introduced me to Raven. She nodded her head, not really looking at me. I focused on John, and we talked for a bit. However, as I was sitting there, I noticed a feeling washing over me. I felt that Raven and I would be friends one day and we might work together. It was a small and fleeting feeling. It didn’t make sense, and I just brushed it off.

Three months later, per John Martin’s suggestion, I contacted Raven to get her help with tuning into my sacral response. I did a few sessions with her, she was very helpful, but she felt very closed off to me.

Thirteen months pass by, and I am enrolled in John Martin’s Way of the Jedi class. Raven is apparently his right hand. I found her intriguing, but I didn’t have the energy to reach out to her the entire year that I was in class. I know that she helped John with producing the class videos and podcasts for Human Design Unleashed.

However, not long after our yearlong Jedi class was over, I drove to Sedona to meet a classmate that was visiting from Denmark. I found my classmate at Java Love. As I sat down, I noticed that John Martin and Raven were trying to sit down at a table across the room. I went over to give them a quick “Hi!”. I didn’t linger, and I went back to my Danish buddy. After a couple of hours, Raven came by and joined us for a bit. She left for a while and then, came back a few hours later to hang out.

At some point, I heard that Raven had moved from Sedona to Colorado. A year and a half later, Raven contacts me via Facebook to let me know that she would be in Phoenix. We meet for lunch and hang out for a bit. We laugh and briefly talk about our Human Design experiences and our overall experiment. Over a few months, we meet a couple of times as she would fly in from Denver to Phoenix and then, drive to Sedona for a visit.

A couple of months ago, while Raven was in Sedona visiting from Denver and she called me and asked if she could come down and spend the night at my place in Phoenix before she flew back home. I was delighted! She spent the night, and we had such a lovely time hanging out and getting to know one another. I could tell that she really loved the area of Downtown Phoenix that I live in. She was hoping to move back to Sedona, but it wasn’t working out energetically. When she made it back to Denver, I sent her a text letting her know that if she wanted to check out Phoenix, she was welcomed to stay at my place for a few days.

She accepted, and by the time she left Phoenix, she had found an apartment in my complex! Two weeks ago, she moved into her new apartment in my building. Since her arrival, we’ve been putting together a new project … Human Design Destination Unknown. We will be creating a series of videocasts together to discuss what it looks like to be living our Design. We are super excited!!! We have a list of topics that we hope to cover and yesterday, we experimented with lights, camera and sound. We are hoping to launch the first video on the January 1st, marking our 4th year anniversary when our trajectories collided.

What I find fascinating is that we could not have planned this if we had tried and yet, years ago, I had a fleeting feeling that this would happen. How or what exactly? I didn’t have any information about that, just the who. When I met Raven, I was 6 months into my experiment. I didn’t have any idea that living Human Design was going to change my life so drastically!

So, as soon as we have the first videocast posted on YouTube, I will post it here as well. As with all Human Design experiments, this is gonna be interesting!

Something Fishy is Going on Here

A month ago, I had a feeling that I needed to create a dating profile. I choose OkCupid because it’s free. I had no idea why I was even doing it, but I watched my body as I created it. Last year, I had created a profile on there as well but had deleted the entire account. I found the number of responses overwhelming. I was on overload, and it didn’t feel good to be on there, so within 4 hours of having my profile posted, I removed it.

This time was different. As I was creating my new profile, I decided that I was going to post every fucking weird photo I’ve ever taken, the ones with the goofiest and dumbest expressions. No beautiful and sophisticated professionally done headshots, just a bunch of goofy, dumbass photos. I also didn’t lock myself in by choosing a “type.” Within the app, you can make selections as to the type of person you are attracted to. I didn’t bother with details. I do have a “type,” but that comes from my mind, not from my body. I have no idea who my body will respond to.

This alone helped minimize the number of responses I received. The first day I had 26 guys reach out to me via messaging within the app. I skimmed through them. I wasn’t able to respond to those who just initiated with the word, “Hi.” They didn’t give me much to respond to except to say, “Hi” back. I chose to ignore all of those. Then, there were the guys that were commenting on my beauty. I chose to ignore all of them, too. Guys were also giving me their phone number and telling me that they were all mine if I wanted them! Uh. No.

Is anyone reading my profile or noticing that I have a shit load of goofy photos?!

 After a few hours, I came across three people that did look at my pictures and had sent me a text asking me a few questions regarding my profile and my pictures. I was excited to have something to respond to! I wrote to all three, and within a couple of hours, I had three dates lined up for the following week. After the first wave of responses, I received messages from 79 different guys. I didn’t even have the energy to read any of the new responses. I tried, but it was pointless. I figured that I would go out on a date with each of the three that I had engaged in a conversation with and go from there.

I went on three dates with three different guys. All three were very lovely with great personalities, and I could see myself getting closer to any of them. However, it was my 2nd date/2nd guy that stood out.

My 2nd date/2nd guy wanted to meet for coffee. It was a coffee date at a coffee shop about a 6-minute walk from my apartment. The morning of our date, I wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to cancel. My mind wanted to cancel. I thought about it, and I didn’t find myself contacting my date to cancel, so I watched myself get ready. I decided to walk to the coffee shop. Ugh. Mind you, this is a 6-minute walk, but in Phoenix at 110 degrees with 49% humidity, it was a bad idea.

By the time, I got to the coffee shop, I was drenched in sweat. Ugh! As soon as I walked in, I turned to see my date walking towards me. I put out my hand to stop him, and I told him that I was sweaty and that I needed to go to the bathroom first. He stood back, nodded, and sat back down.

As I was in the bathroom, drying myself off with paper towels, I was struck by my date. He saw me. Yes, he saw me walk in, but his expression was that he saw my soul. As I was drying off, I kept reciting in my head … Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is NOT what I was expecting.

I went back out and met up with my date. He walked with me to the counter and bought me an iced coffee. I reached to get a couple of menus to fan myself while I was ordering and the barista asked me if I was ok and needed some water. I told him, water would be awesome and that I was okay, but that I had made my first mistake of the day by walking there. And without missing a beat, my date said, “I hope I’m not your 2nd mistake of the day!” Oh, my god, how I laughed! He laughed, too.

We sat for an hour together, talking and laughing. He showed me photos on his phone of his teenage kids. He came across a photo of a whole fish that was deep fried with the head and eyes still attached. I commented on it. He asked if I had ever ordered fish that way. Nope. Never. He then asked me if I wanted to try it. I said, “Sure. I’ll try anything once.” He said, “Let’s go now. Do you want to go now?” I didn’t hesitate. Yup. Let’s do it!

I jumped in his car, and he drove us to a restaurant that served the whole fried fish. He ordered two plates of fish. When our food was served, he showed me how to dig in and where not to dig in. After we had finished our dinner, we sat talking for a bit. And he confessed to me that he had just tested me. He wanted to know if I was spontaneous and adventurous. He didn’t care if I didn’t like the fish—what he wanted to know is if I would try something unfamiliar for the experience of it.

My whole body lit up. I laughed my ass off when he told me that! Fuck. I just met my match! I’m the one who tests people. People don’t test me. LOL! As a 5/1, I’m skeptical about people who enter my life. Therefore, I tend to test them to see if and how they fit into my life. This guy got ME! After a couple of hours, he drove me home but teased me a little about walking home. He was delightful in so many ways!

We went on several more dates. In one week, he expanded my mind more than any person I have ever been with! I have never met someone who could keep up with me, in humor, in seriousness, and in playfulness. He wasn’t even my “type.” And as it turns out, I wasn’t his either. However, we have similar life experiences and views on life.

After a week, I was bracing myself when I told him that I live Human Design. His reaction? He knew what it was! He had discovered it after he had gone through his divorce. He had been married 20 years and realized that he didn’t know who he was. He needed to know, and Human Design found him.

I suspected that he was a Projector, but he told me he was a Generator. I asked him if he had his birth time correct and he informed me that it was. My body didn’t agree with his answer, so I asked him if he would mind double checking it. Turns out the time was incorrect, and he is Projector. Long ago, he had wondered about that, because the Generator info didn’t resonate within him. He didn’t look further into it. He just figured it wasn’t a tool for him.

A few hours of him knowing that he’s a Projector, he went online to read what his new aura type was all about. Yup, NOW it resonated with him. He’s has a 5/1 profile and is a single definition. (I have the same profile and definition.) He has a defined G-Center and Ego (Channel 51-25) and then, everything else is wide open.

He is very aware of that he can focus and absorb energy and when we are together he checks in with me to see how I’m feeling. I do the same with him because I’m very aware that I can burn him out. And because of the projection field we both experience, we’ve been communicating a lot. It appears we can hear one another and we ask each other lots of questions if we aren’t clear about something that was said. The projections we place on one another seem to be quite fluid. They will set in and as we get new information they are readjusted, and a new projection will form.

Last night, after 3 weeks of hanging out together, we had a minor hiccup. It was minor because I was able to tell him how I felt and we worked through it together. I’ve never had that experience before. We both have an open Solar Plexus which means that if we are not operating correctly, we can easily play nice and avoid all confrontation. We’ve been in relationships that didn’t allow us to communicate our true feelings. Everyone I have ever been romantically involved with, including my ex-husband, would tell me how I should feel. I wasn’t allowed to have my own feelings. They were regarded as irrational and stupid.

The men I get involved with always seem to assume that I will marry them one day, but none of them have actually asked me if that’s what I want. They project that field onto me. This guy is different. We love being in one another’s company. We love exploring DTPHX together. We love listening to music together. We love talking to one another. We love savoring the present moment with one another. We have admitted to one another that our minds wander into what the future might look like with us being together, but we also realize that our minds are just running out to play. We have no idea what the future will hold, and I’m just in awe that I met someone who is comfortable with that idea as I am.