Pacing My Way

Heading to parking spot

When I began the deconditioning process, I felt the conditioning mostly in my open head and my open root. I was very aware that I was always being pushed by others to do things I didn’t want to do, mentally and physically.

A couple of months into my deconditioning, I went shopping. I drove into the store’s parking lot, and I immediately found a space by the door, a prime parking space or what I like to call “Rock Star Parking”!

I went in and did my shopping, and as I came out, the driver of a big SUV spotted me and decided to wait for my parking space. Ugh.

In the past, I would have rushed to my car to throw all my stuff into the trunk and quickly drive out of my spot to get out of this person’s way. Nope, not this time. I centered myself and watched and held the pressure that I was feeling. It was at that moment that I became aware of how conditioned I was to hurry. I desperately wanted to get rid of the pressure, but I decided to pretend that I was parked far away and that no one was waiting for me. I would take my time.

I proceeded to unload my cart into my car, and I went at my pace. I didn’t hurry, and I fought the urge to do so. I opened the trunk of my car and put in a few items. Then, I opened the door to the back seat and put a few things in there. Next, I strolled my empty cart across a lane to store it. I got into my car. I sat there and answered a couple of text messages. I hooked up my phone to my car so I could play music; I searched and tapped into my favorite playlist. I took a few sips of a latte I had purchased, and I put my keys in the ignition. THEN, I drove away.

I have to admit that while I was moving at my pace, my open solar plexus and open heart were also having a field day! Throughout the process, I was bracing myself for honking and yelling from the other driver in hopes that it would speed me up. It was a needless worry because neither happened.

All my life, unbeknownst to me, I had been dealing with those open head and open root pressures, but they came from people I knew, or so I thought. I wasn’t aware of how deep the conditioning could be and how and where it would pop up. I never imagined that the beginning of my real awareness would begin with a parking space.

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