Living My Design

Milky Way Galaxy

A few weeks ago, I ended a 6-week relationship. It was one that I was super excited about. We had become friends since July, and then, recently we became more to one another.

We had gone to a reading together, and he introduced me to someone he knew as his “friend” instead of “girlfriend.” As soon as I heard it, I could feel my mind starting to get upset … WTF?!?! But, since I no longer make decisions based on what my mind thinks, I felt my body, too, and at that moment, it agreed. Friends, it is.

Not long after he had said it, he apologized for saying it. I told him it was okay because it really was. At first, it was a shocking surprise; for weeks prior, I had been introducing him as my BF and he also referred to himself as my BF. All of that had felt correct until my body agreed to something else.

My mind didn’t want to let him go, and I watched it. My mind wanted more information than my sacral response was giving it. I watched my mind as it was trying desperately to figure something out! And in the spirit of living an experiment, I spent the next couple of days, watching us, him and me. And in those two days, I received a few more sacral responses for us to return to “just friends” status.

It was a sad decision, but it wasn’t a difficult decision to end our relationship because my mind no longer has control over my decision-making process. Yeah, I know. It did want more info, but my mind was NOT running the show. My sacral responded, and it agreed with him. The decision had been made.

When I went over to his apartment to tell him in person that when I heard him introduce me as a friend, my body agreed. He was expressionless and just stared right at me. I couldn’t make out if he were angry or hurt or anything. Expressionless. After a couple of seconds, he told me, “You can leave now.”

And my body left.

Now that I’m a month shy of beginning my 5th year of deconditioning, it’s a relief to trust in one’s Strategy and Authority. To turn off your mind for yourself can be an inexplicable process to people outside of Human Design, and sometimes even to those who know all about it. Over the last two years, I’ve been able to witness that LIFE is easier if you follow your S&A and allow life to unfold. It’s a simple, yet very difficult, way to live.

As for me and the exBF, well, we didn’t make the transition to back to being friends, maybe in time, maybe never. He’s a unique and interesting person and I miss him. However, when my sacral makes a decision, it’s one that I can completely live with without needing an explanation … and that in itself has taken time.

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