Speed Dating in the Now

Questions to break the ice …

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email about a future speed dating event. I had a positive sacral response when I read it, so I signed up.

When the evening of the event arrived, my mind did not want to attend. It was having doubts. I watched my body get ready. I spritzed my favorite perfume, and out the door, I went.

After I had parked my car at the venue, I walked toward an elevator. I heard a small voice from across the parking structure to hold the elevator door open. As soon as she walked in, I could feel her energy was high. I figured she was one of the speed daters, too, but my mind was confused. She held a birthday gift bag.

I asked her what floor she needed to go to and she started laughing. She didn’t know. She was on her way to a “some weird dating event.” Oh, that’s where I’m headed, too. She explained to me that she had never done anything like this before and is going to meet a friend there. Aside from the speed dating, it’s her friend’s birthday and held up the gift bag. She asked me, Have you done this before? Yes, I have.

I’ve been to a speeding dating event before. Over a year ago. It was my first time. A friend of mine wanted to drive to Las Vegas at a moment’s notice, and I said, No. I didn’t have the energy for something like that. She suggested that we go to a speed dating event that evening instead. Speed dating as a consolation prize. NOW, that seemed interesting … never done that before. It turned out to be a lot of fun!

This time around, I was on my own.

As I walked into the venue, I felt at home. The event was being held at one of my favorite bars in Scottsdale. It’s like a Hollywood version of a jazz club … velvet and leather chairs, half circular plush booths, pillows on every seat, a dark wood floor and bar, and a small center stage with room to dance anywhere. Dark. Mysterious. And full of intrigue. I love super sexy spaces. I wonder if that’s a Heretic trait.

I ordered a glass of wine and headed over to Check-In. I laughed when I saw the table. I was assigned to Table #1. I chuckled. I’m usually first or thirteenth (Gate 7.5, Gate 13.5). Today, I was First. I don’t mind being first. In this case, it really didn’t matter; this wasn’t a follow me or not kind of situation (7/31 Channel of the Alpha, General).

As I settled into the bar with my drink, I watched all of my fellow speed daters. There was so much excitement and anticipation in the air. I watched everyone, wondering why I was really there. I thought it might be to practice responding. There’s nothing like responding in the moment to 12 to 15 men on 5-minute dates. LOL.

When it was time, I walked over to my Table #1 and sat down in a comfy, velvet, pillow-filled mini booth. My dates would be seated in a sleek leather chair off to my left side.

All the women sat at an assigned table. The men rotate, moving from table to table, every 5 minutes. Once the event begins, there are no scheduled breaks. This time I made sure I had a few beverages by my side … water, diet coke and a glass of wine, because talking for a couple of hours makes me very thirsty.

This time around, I had thirteen mini-dates. I met a variety of interesting men, well, as interesting as a person can get in 5 minutes. It was fascinating to hear what they shared with me. I had one guy ask me what I like to do for fun? I said the symphony, ballet, theater and before I could finish my response, he called me a snob and pointed his nose up. I laughed. He laughed, but his body language said he wasn’t joking. Then, I had another guy tell me how unsophisticated I am. I laughed as well. Yup. NOT for me!

What was interesting is that being at Table #1 was a conversational ice breaker. Most of the men couldn’t resist saying as they approached me, I found the one! The projection of being THE ONE. I’m NOT the one, in fact, I’m not for everyone, and I know that. I’m only here for very specific people. I just laughed every time I heard it.

Well, when my last date approached me, and he looked solemn. He sat down right next to me and in a serious voice, he said, I have some questions for you. I want your honest answer. Have you done this before? I nodded. How do women select the men on the speed dating website? Do they choose just a couple? More than that? What do they look for? Is every woman looking for a rich husband? Someone who lives close to their home? I think I live too far and no one wants to drive out that way, and I’m a teacher. I’m not rich.

OMG! I have been projected on in a major way. I’m always projected on, but this is the first time I felt the immediate directness of it.

This guy wanted me to answer for ALL WOMEN! WTF?! I told him that I had no idea. He said, Well, what would your friends do? I said that I have no idea what they would do. I’m not them, nor am I aware that any of my friends are looking for a rich husband or wife. 

He wanted an answer from me as to why he’s only been selected three times in the five events he has attended. He said that at the last event no one even picked him and he knows because he selected YES to every female that went to the event.

Here’s the deal with speed dating. At check-in, all the women receive a card that lists all the male names and there’s a Yes or No after each name, along with a space to jot down notes. And, then, all the men have a card with all the female names. After each date, you circle either Yes or No. After the event, all the participants have 48 hours to login into the speed dating site and select Yes or No after each name. If you get a match, you will get the person’s email address so that you can contact the person for a future date.

So, back to my last-date of the evening, I told him that I can’t give him the answer that he’s looking for. Sure, there’s probably women looking for a rich husband, but I have no idea if people go speed dating to look for one. I tell him that I hear women talk about finding a wealthy husband at the bar or gym, but I’m NOT that type of person, so I have no idea what to tell you. I have dated all types.

He proceeded to tell me that he’s getting SMARTER about what to talk about in 5 minutes, like not disclosing his profession (special needs teacher) or where he lives (Buckeye, AZ which is a good distance outside of Phoenix). I told him that’s a shame that he feels that he can’t be himself. No one is worth pretending to be someone else. He nodded, but I could feel that he didn’t agree. His energy felt very confused and lonely to me.

We talked for about 20 minutes, but before we departed ways. I asked him, Why me? Why ask me all these questions? I wanted to know why he chose me. What was it about me that made him comfortable to ask? Oh, I know I’m an MG Heretic Investigator (5/1), but if he was capable of explaining, I wanted to know what he was seeing or feeling, someone who had no idea about Human Design.

He said that I looked like someone he could talk to and that my body looked open and not closed off. I looked “inviting.” He stated that he noticed I was friendly, and that I smile and laugh a lot. He felt that he could ask me those questions without being judged. He didn’t feel comfortable asking any other woman there. 

HOLY SHIT! He described the Generator aura and my 5/1 profile. He invited my insight (Channel 43/23)! I’m the savior and I can listen (Gate 13.5: The Gate of the Listener, Savior). This is the first time I’ve ever been in a room full of strangers, and a person seeks me out for an answer. He was so sure I had the answer.

He wanted to see if I would participate in an experiment with him. I love experiments! I live an experiment. He asked that when I go back home, would I be willing to check YES to every male? He wanted to see how men select women. He would do the same, and we could email one another and compare notes. At the time, my mind thought that was a good idea, but when I got home and sat in front of my computer, I couldn’t do it. The idea made me feel sick to my stomach. I had a strong aversion to some of the men I met. I didn’t want them knowing anything about me.

As for all my dates, I responded YES to five of them. I had two matches, my last-date guy (so we can compare notes) and Guy #15. I had a lovely conversation with Guy #15. We were both disappointed we only had 5 minutes! We kept talking even as he was moving toward the next table.

Ha! As I was writing this post, Guy #15 just sent an email asking me out on a date. He said five minutes was too short! LOL. Totally!

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