Something Fishy is Going on Here

A month ago, I had a feeling that I needed to create a dating profile. I choose OkCupid because it’s free. I had no idea why I was even doing it, but I watched my body as I created it. Last year, I had created a profile on there as well but had deleted the entire account. I found the number of responses overwhelming. I was on overload, and it didn’t feel good to be on there, so within 4 hours of having my profile posted, I removed it.

This time was different. As I was creating my new profile, I decided that I was going to post every fucking weird photo I’ve ever taken, the ones with the goofiest and dumbest expressions. No beautiful and sophisticated professionally done headshots, just a bunch of goofy, dumbass photos. I also didn’t lock myself in by choosing a “type.” Within the app, you can make selections as to the type of person you are attracted to. I didn’t bother with details. I do have a “type,” but that comes from my mind, not from my body. I have no idea who my body will respond to.

This alone helped minimize the number of responses I received. The first day I had 26 guys reach out to me via messaging within the app. I skimmed through them. I wasn’t able to respond to those who just initiated with the word, “Hi.” They didn’t give me much to respond to except to say, “Hi” back. I chose to ignore all of those. Then, there were the guys that were commenting on my beauty. I chose to ignore all of them, too. Guys were also giving me their phone number and telling me that they were all mine if I wanted them! Uh. No.

Is anyone reading my profile or noticing that I have a shit load of goofy photos?!

 After a few hours, I came across three people that did look at my pictures and had sent me a text asking me a few questions regarding my profile and my pictures. I was excited to have something to respond to! I wrote to all three, and within a couple of hours, I had three dates lined up for the following week. After the first wave of responses, I received messages from 79 different guys. I didn’t even have the energy to read any of the new responses. I tried, but it was pointless. I figured that I would go out on a date with each of the three that I had engaged in a conversation with and go from there.

I went on three dates with three different guys. All three were very lovely with great personalities, and I could see myself getting closer to any of them. However, it was my 2nd date/2nd guy that stood out.

My 2nd date/2nd guy wanted to meet for coffee. It was a coffee date at a coffee shop about a 6-minute walk from my apartment. The morning of our date, I wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to cancel. My mind wanted to cancel. I thought about it, and I didn’t find myself contacting my date to cancel, so I watched myself get ready. I decided to walk to the coffee shop. Ugh. Mind you, this is a 6-minute walk, but in Phoenix at 110 degrees with 49% humidity, it was a bad idea.

By the time, I got to the coffee shop, I was drenched in sweat. Ugh! As soon as I walked in, I turned to see my date walking towards me. I put out my hand to stop him, and I told him that I was sweaty and that I needed to go to the bathroom first. He stood back, nodded, and sat back down.

As I was in the bathroom, drying myself off with paper towels, I was struck by my date. He saw me. Yes, he saw me walk in, but his expression was that he saw my soul. As I was drying off, I kept reciting in my head … Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is NOT what I was expecting.

I went back out and met up with my date. He walked with me to the counter and bought me an iced coffee. I reached to get a couple of menus to fan myself while I was ordering and the barista asked me if I was ok and needed some water. I told him, water would be awesome and that I was okay, but that I had made my first mistake of the day by walking there. And without missing a beat, my date said, “I hope I’m not your 2nd mistake of the day!” Oh, my god, how I laughed! He laughed, too.

We sat for an hour together, talking and laughing. He showed me photos on his phone of his teenage kids. He came across a photo of a whole fish that was deep fried with the head and eyes still attached. I commented on it. He asked if I had ever ordered fish that way. Nope. Never. He then asked me if I wanted to try it. I said, “Sure. I’ll try anything once.” He said, “Let’s go now. Do you want to go now?” I didn’t hesitate. Yup. Let’s do it!

I jumped in his car, and he drove us to a restaurant that served the whole fried fish. He ordered two plates of fish. When our food was served, he showed me how to dig in and where not to dig in. After we had finished our dinner, we sat talking for a bit. And he confessed to me that he had just tested me. He wanted to know if I was spontaneous and adventurous. He didn’t care if I didn’t like the fish—what he wanted to know is if I would try something unfamiliar for the experience of it.

My whole body lit up. I laughed my ass off when he told me that! Fuck. I just met my match! I’m the one who tests people. People don’t test me. LOL! As a 5/1, I’m skeptical about people who enter my life. Therefore, I tend to test them to see if and how they fit into my life. This guy got ME! After a couple of hours, he drove me home but teased me a little about walking home. He was delightful in so many ways!

We went on several more dates. In one week, he expanded my mind more than any person I have ever been with! I have never met someone who could keep up with me, in humor, in seriousness, and in playfulness. He wasn’t even my “type.” And as it turns out, I wasn’t his either. However, we have similar life experiences and views on life.

After a week, I was bracing myself when I told him that I live Human Design. His reaction? He knew what it was! He had discovered it after he had gone through his divorce. He had been married 20 years and realized that he didn’t know who he was. He needed to know, and Human Design found him.

I suspected that he was a Projector, but he told me he was a Generator. I asked him if he had his birth time correct and he informed me that it was. My body didn’t agree with his answer, so I asked him if he would mind double checking it. Turns out the time was incorrect, and he is Projector. Long ago, he had wondered about that, because the Generator info didn’t resonate within him. He didn’t look further into it. He just figured it wasn’t a tool for him.

A few hours of him knowing that he’s a Projector, he went online to read what his new aura type was all about. Yup, NOW it resonated with him. He’s has a 5/1 profile and is a single definition. (I have the same profile and definition.) He has a defined G-Center and Ego (Channel 51-25) and then, everything else is wide open.

He is very aware of that he can focus and absorb energy and when we are together he checks in with me to see how I’m feeling. I do the same with him because I’m very aware that I can burn him out. And because of the projection field we both experience, we’ve been communicating a lot. It appears we can hear one another and we ask each other lots of questions if we aren’t clear about something that was said. The projections we place on one another seem to be quite fluid. They will set in and as we get new information they are readjusted, and a new projection will form.

Last night, after 3 weeks of hanging out together, we had a minor hiccup. It was minor because I was able to tell him how I felt and we worked through it together. I’ve never had that experience before. We both have an open Solar Plexus which means that if we are not operating correctly, we can easily play nice and avoid all confrontation. We’ve been in relationships that didn’t allow us to communicate our true feelings. Everyone I have ever been romantically involved with, including my ex-husband, would tell me how I should feel. I wasn’t allowed to have my own feelings. They were regarded as irrational and stupid.

The men I get involved with always seem to assume that I will marry them one day, but none of them have actually asked me if that’s what I want. They project that field onto me. This guy is different. We love being in one another’s company. We love exploring DTPHX together. We love listening to music together. We love talking to one another. We love savoring the present moment with one another. We have admitted to one another that our minds wander into what the future might look like with us being together, but we also realize that our minds are just running out to play. We have no idea what the future will hold, and I’m just in awe that I met someone who is comfortable with that idea as I am.